Old Ghosts and New Regrets
by AllTheTricks
Summary: She did love him, so why couldn't she just tell him that? A story of romance and loss. Sometimes in order to move forward we have to turn and defeat that which lingers in the past. Can Maka defeat her demons? Or will she throw away everything she's worked so hard for in the past 6 years. SoMa story, lots of angst, swearing and violence and may contain self-harm. R&R xo


Soul stripped the tight, strapless dress from his meister in a frenzy before tossing the piece of black fabric behind him without shifting his attention from the squirming girl currently underneath him. Her milky skin had become flush from their sexual endeavours and they were both quickly losing all sense of restraint and instead chose to embrace their more primal urges. He could feel the sweat from his shirtless torso run slick with her own sweat as they rubbed and grinded their way to bliss on that hot summer night. As his fingers fumbled with both her twintails in an attempt to free them and her bra strap simultaneously, he lowered himself and resumed his attack on Maka's already swollen lips. "Maka.." he groaned against her as he found success with her bra strap and he felt it fall loose before he tore it away from her chest and took his time to admire the beautiful girl whose flustered face showed signs of pleasure, but there was something else in her eyes that he couldn't quite place; was that regret? He watched her lips move before her words registered.  
"Soul, we shouldn't be doing this. Its, wrong.."  
Her words were like a shot of ice through his veins, chilling his bones and freezing him solid. He felt jabs of pain with every agonising beat of his aching heart. He was silent for the longest while before removing himself from his position over her and slumped down into a sitting position next to the quiet meister. He couldn't understand her change of attitude. One minute she was bumping and grinding along with him and then the next thing he knew, she had transformed from a bold and hormonal girl to a timid and scared girl with tears in her eyes. Without a word, Maka gathered her clothes, slipped into them and moved towards the door where she stopped and spoke with her back turned to him in a futile attempt to hide her tears from him, her weapon. He wasn't sure why she bothered; he could hear it in her voice and feel her pain through their resonance. "I'm sorry, Soul."  
And with those words she slipped out of the room and was once again, torn out of his reach. It wasn't long before he could no longer will himself to deny his body's lust for sleep and he fell into a dark sleep, tormented by memories of the on and off relationship with his Meister that was like walking on eggshells from the night they got shitfaced and decided it'd be a good idea to confess their feelings for each other. The next morning he was to be greeted by dried tears and her name silent upon his lips.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Soul." Her own words ran through her mid over and over again, assaulting her with fresh waves of pain and regret. She couldn't get the look on his face when she left out of her head. He'd looked so handsome that night at dinner dressed in his favourite red and black pinstriped suit and to have that goofy 'cool guy' grin be replaced by something so feeble and empty after only a few words; it was killing her. She did love him, so why couldn't she just tell him that? Why did she let her emotions feed through their bond as she left his room? She could find no answers, only more painful questions that served to damage her heart further. She had felt empty and cold on the inside since she left Soul's room and he had locked her out of his soul for the first time in 6 years and no amount of knocking and banging was going to get her back into his soul again. The lack of his presence in her soul left her feeling on half full; a husk of what she was when she was with Soul. It was as if her better half had vanished and in a sense, it had. She whimpered softly as her stomach churned painfully once more and in a childish action to hide the pain she was feeling, she buried her face into the tear soaked fabric of her old pillow and the warm summer night did nothing to warm her bones and so she wrapped her blankets around herself even tighter in a futile attempt to ward off the cold that beseeched her soul. She felt so ridiculously stupid for what she had done. Her selfish actions had left them both in even more want for each other and she knew that Soul was suffering even more than she was. She thought back to the feeling she got right before Soul cut their soul connection; she felt something break inside him. "I think I'll just skip breakfast tomorrow.." She muttered before slipping into a dream that just happened to be about a certain crimson-eyed albino.

* * *

It seemed that they both shared the same idea because when Soul lumbered into the kitchen the next day, there was no sign of Maka. The familiar smell of coffee was gone, the sound of bacon popping and crackling was gone, and the thing that hit Soul the hardest was the plain silence that hung over the room like some sort of stupid shroud of misery. There was no laughter or comfortable conversation to banish the weight of the silence and it was going to drive him into madness and so, as he slipped a solitary slice of bread into the otherwise neglected toaster, he decided that he'd be going to the academy without his meister for the first time since he was twelve. He drifted in and out of empty thought while he patiently waited for his toast to pop and when it did, it startled him. "Kami, I must be losing it." He chuckled in spite of himself before taking a bite out of his boring toast, grabbed his boring bag and stepped out the door to start his boring day that would fit into the monotony that his life was beginning to become. The harsh Nirvana sun blasted down on him and for some unknown reason, its usual sloth-like features had been replaced with a sinister grin, akin to that of the moon. "I bet that bastard knows all about how shit my day is, and he's just out to make it even worse." He groaned to himself. It was going to be a long day. He continued his journey in utter silence until he finally cracked under the scrutiny of both those around him and that blasted sun. "Yeah, fuck you too asshole!" He shouted to the heavens in a brief display of insanity. The shop owners and pedestrians all glared at him with one of two different looks; disgust because of his foul language or a look of confusion over the fact that he'd just screamed profanities at what appeared to be nothing. He remained still for a few moments before running his fingers through his unruly hair and sighing, a habit he'd come prone to doing when he was stressed or just plain frustrated. He managed to complete the journey to the academy without losing his cool again and upon arrival to class was greeted by astonished stares. Not only was Soul 4 hours late for class and looked like absolute shit, but his meister was nowhere to be seen. He could hear their whispers and he could almost feel their eyes burning into him as he made his way to his usual spot.

"Glad to see you could make it Soul, I hope it wasn't too much trouble for you" Greeted Stein, obviously annoyed at Soul's rude and late attendance.

"Yeah yeah, get on with it already, I didn't come all the way here to get scolded alright?" He snapped back, not in the mood to deal with Stein's games.

"If you don't mind one more question, where is your meister?"

"She's at home."

"Why? Is she alright?"

Soul didn't know how to answer that. He hadn't thought that he might've raised questions as to why he was at school while Maka wasn't. That's not how these things worked. He was always the one who skipped, not her.

"Soul? I asked you a question." Stein had a frown on his face. He knew as well as Soul did that Maka didn't simply skip school. It was completely unlike her.

"She's.. Fine. Now sir, continue please." He struggled to get the words out and he could tell that Stein wasn't buying his bullshit; he always was a bit too good at reading Soul and this time was no different.

"Well okay then, now class, if you could turn to page 394 of your text books we can begin."  
Stein had only just resumed class when Spirit walked into the room.

"Soul, Lord Death wants to see you in the Death Room. Something about a mission."


End file.
